


as love does.

by bhubblemilk



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 18:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17452331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bhubblemilk/pseuds/bhubblemilk
Summary: Paying you to help him chase after your friend, planning to learn to love her in the process, Jeongin found himself falling for you instead.





	as love does.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: slow and probably bad writing

Hyebyeol has been your good friend ever since middle school. That made it sound like you two go way back, but that wasn't the case. The bond that you two shared was not special, nor could it be considered strong. If anything, you two are more like acquaintances who occasionally talk to each other about school works and hold short conversations about each other’s winter break activities that none of you cared enough to remember.

However, ever since graduating high school, leaving the once friends and heading on to meet new people who would soon become once strangers, you both had established on the idea of sticking together for the first year to eliminate the need to go through the disaster that is being stuck in a forced partnership with someone you most likely wouldn't want to work with, which honestly came as a shocker to you.

Hyebyeol was not an introvert. She was smart, gentle, outgoing with a bubble of elegance wrapped around her figure. She was that above average looking girl who you want to befriend when you enter a new area but wasn't brave enough to. She was the girl boys buy snacks for in hopes to gain her attention.

And you? You were their designated delivery person, or to put it badly, the overshadowed supposed best friend.

It didn't bother you as much as most people had expected it to. In fact, you learned to turn the situation around when more and more of them came along with baskets of snacks and drinks and everything in between. You learned to benefit from it.

You charged them for each task they needed you to do.

If you were going to be annoyed during morning period and lunch every day, disrupting your well-deserved sleep time after a whole night of flipping through textbooks carelessly (standing on top of Hyebyeol, you are the grade genius), you might as well get something out of it. You weren't going to take Hyebyeol's presents, those were meant for her, so you settled with cash, which you believed to be ten times better.

You were not sure if you felt relieved or defeated when the boys continue to come to you for help. Relieved because you got to earn a lot more without actually needing to work, and defeated because you were not sure if you really wanted to hand your only friend over to any of those timid boys who couldn't even place a simple bag of chips on her desk when she was present.

And then there were times when a cute boy with a heart of gold comes up to you for help, and you didn't know whether to be disappointed or to feel dumb that you thought you would have a chance. In this case, the boy was Yang Jeongin—the school's resident soft boy with a smile that brings the sun to shame and eyes filled with swirls of stardusts. He was the epitome of a brightly lit carousel with joyful children giggling on top of the carefully carved wooden animals.

"Snacks are five dollars, a gift is ten dollars, subtly mentioning you in a conversation is twenty dollars–I'm sure you know the prices!" You waved your hand dismissively after he approached you with a pink milk carton in his hand.

You didn't give him a chance to explain himself after he set down the milk carton, but to be fair, he was stumbling over himself trying to find the right word to say. After hearing what you told him, he was rendered completely speechless as if he did not already know of your little business going on.

You looked up from your lunch to see him gazing down at you with an unreadable expression, that alone was enough to make your heart quiver in ways you hoped it didn't, and you willed yourself not to show yourself any sign of weakness by looking away from his pretty eyes.

You sighed as you shifted your position. You set your lunchbox aside and cleared your throat. "Look, Jeongin," you started softly, "I don't know why you would bother to come to me when you clearly shouldn't be needing my help at all, but I really believe that you should hand this to her yourself. That will most definitely make you special because you see," you reached down your desk and picked up your signature pink paper bag that you used to store Hyebyeol's presents. "All these cowards didn't have the guts to, so you will stand out being the only one to hand her something directly."

Jeongin pursed his lips together, still unsure of what he should say.

The problem was never about whether or not he was brave enough to step up and confess to the girl he likes. He wasn't a shy person, and he has had a fair share of people crushing on him before to confirm that he wasn't exactly hopeless in the romantic department. If he has a girl in mind, he would confess, considering his chances of success were rather high.

He could have just as easily handed the drink to Hyebyeol himself, face to face, except he didn't because he wasn't sure if he really liked her or not. Everything felt more like a spur of the moment. She was more of a small crush, a feeling he could just toss aside if he really wanted to. However, his friends seemed to find it fascinating that their clueless boy finally mentioned a girl during one of their afterschool hangout sessions and decided to encourage him to give it a try despite his uncertainty in this matter.

Jeongin complied and he thought his safest bet would be you. What better way is there to know about Hyebyeol than to hang out with her hard-to-please best friend?

"Actually, instead of paying now, I have another idea," Jeongin said as he turned around to pull a chair over so he could sit across from you.

You eyed him carefully, a frown gracing your face as your alert level went up just in case he tries to charm his way out of paying. That was not what you need today, especially not since you planned to get you and your father some good food and drinks from the local boba store that has overpriced but delicious combo meals. "Spill." You nudged your head his way, gesturing for him to talk.

"I was thinking we can pretend to become really close friends, best friends if you may, so I can have an excuse to hang out with you guys all the time and... you know where I am going with this, right?" He nodded, his fingers tapped nervously against the surface of the wooden desk.

"Oh I know, but I have a better idea," you crossed your arms as you leaned back with a sarcastic smile. "You can shove off right now and deal with it like the rest of the boys if you can't even hand her the goddamn milk by yourself. Doesn’t that sound great?"

Jeongin's face fell. He had kind of expected this reaction, it was never good to hear someone blatantly point out that the only reason they want to be close to them was to get to their hotter friend. But of course, he was prepared for such an occasion, so he continued.

"I will pay you."

You raised your eyebrows briefly before you leaned forward to put your elbows on the desk and your chin on the back of your palm, your suspicious eyes grazing across his face like ice. "Well?"

"If we are going to pretend to be best friends, then we might as well hang out for real. I can pay for your food or drinks when we do and that can be the replacement for me directly paying you to be my fake friend and all the twenty dollars for bringing me up in a conversation," Jeongin suggested.

Your eyes dropped to the desk as numbers flew through your mind. You were calculating the cost and benefits of this deal on the imaginary paper on the table and you were getting a pretty good result.

Being friends with Jeongin would not be such a bad thing. He never had any bad reputations and he does hang around with a group of nice people. He counts as a decent companion. You might even get to break your awkward bubble and get more friends than just Hyebyeol, who had been busier than ever since she became a part of the student council and who most possibly would ditch you for someone else sooner or later.

"Deal," you held out your hand for him to shake, which he did with his signature bright smile and squinty eyes.

You pulled your hand away quickly, continuing to glance at him with an indifferent expression as you reminded yourself that this wasn't a bad deal. The worst case scenario was that you fall madly in love with Jeongin but you would make sure you keep an eye out for any signs your heart and body make to be sure that it doesn't happen.

* * *

 It took a good ten minutes for the both of you to find each other in the huge shopping mall that Jeongin had suggested you two hang out in for your first day of being pretend friends. You clicked your tongue when you finally heard his screaming voice outside of the static phone sound and you looked around, pulling your phone away from your ear as your eyes searched for the dark-haired boy within the sea of people.

"(Name), there you are!" Jeongin hung up the phone as he rushed over to you, stopping abruptly and placing a hand on your shoulder to steady himself once his legs stopped moving. When he did so, he cheekily smiled up at you, "Hi!"

You inwardly cursed. It hasn't even been ten seconds and your alarm was already subtly ringing at the back of your head. "It's twelve o' clock, did you drink five cups of coffee before coming here?" You moved away as you watched him catch his breath, your brows furrowing.

Jeongin stood up straight, a pursed smile on his face as he shook his head. "No, I don't drink coffee." He straightened the strap of his bag, "So, where do you want to go first?"

You expected he would let you choose instead of recommending a place for you two to go, even though he was a regular to this shopping mall and you were the newbie who knew absolutely nothing about this place. You would call it being considerate, but for now, you would settle any good traits that Jeongin processes as an obstacle for your weak heart.

With a limited amount of knowledge (you were too lazy to search up anything other than the address), you had prepared a list of what you could possibly do that wouldn’t give yourself too much enjoyment on this day with him alone and would instead make progress regarding his path to pursue Hyebyeol.

First, style. This was a great chance for you to see if Jeongin dresses like Hyebyeol's ideal types. If he does, then that problem is off your list and you would be dragging him to a fancy restaurant you saw on your way in. If he doesn't, you two would be going on a trip to the clothing store and you would be switching him up, and then it would be that fancy restaurant you saw on your way in.

Jeongin widened his eyes in curiosity when you stepped back to examine him. Not that he ever had any problem with the way he looked, people constantly tell him he was a good-looking kid and he believed them. Yet somehow, the unfamiliarity of your judgemental gaze was making him fidget a little.

You hummed in approval. He has a nice sense of style, but a beanie and denim overall were too boyish for Hyebyeol's liking, you knew for a fact. "Shopping spree it is," you announced loud enough for the both of you to hear as you grabbed a hold of his hand casually and started pulling him towards the first store you could see.

"You want to buy clothes?" Jeongin asked you both walked through the entrance of the big store with faint pop music playing in the background and lights that were too bright shining down at unrealistically sized mannequins.

"Yes but they aren't for me, they are for you," you said as you dragged him around the corner to the men section, where the wallpaper and the lights were unnecessarily changed into a darker shade to give the area a darker feel.

Jeongin looked down at himself with a small frown, "Why, do I look weird today?"

"No, you're fine! You just don't dress like Hyebyeol's type," you chuckled dryly as you went over to a clothing rack and started to move away shirt after shirt. What seemed to be like twenty clothing racks, you finally settled with a black turtleneck.

You pulled it out and held it close to Jeongin before nodding and throwing it over your forearm. Jeongin could only trail behind you with a lost expression, letting you use his figure as a scale and sample for what you had picked out for him.

"Just curious, what is Hyebyeol's type exactly?" He asked suddenly after you pulled a white button-up shirt away from him and threw it over your forearm, stacking it over the other pieces.

You pulled a face secretly. Truthfully, you never asked her exactly what type of boys she liked, you were simply taking pieces from the fictional characters and celebrities she had specifically pointed out to you before. You could be wrong for all you knew but you thought it was no big deal. Nothing could go too wrong with that gorgeous face of his, could it?

"Wouldn't you like to know?" You laughed as you walked over to the fitting room. "I don't know exactly, but it's certainly not you."

Grabbing the number tag from the entrance yourself since there was no one supervising the place, you walked right into the hallway and picked an empty space. Jeongin stopped next to you and you slapped the clothes to his chest with a satisfied smile. He looked a little hesitant to walk in, so you gave him an encouraging pat.

"Go on, your mirror self is not going to kill you. If he really wanted to take over your life, he would have already done it."

"I wasn't scared of that!" He protested as you closed the curtains. "I was just... I don't know, I am not sure if this suits me, this isn't what I usually wear," he grumbled as he took off his bag and proceed to sort out the outfit you had matched out for him in the span of five minutes.

You sat down on the waiting chair and crossed your legs. "Do it for Hyebyeol."

A few moments passed with you two exchanging mindless words in an attempt to ease out the awkward tension that had erupted. You heard him hop from outside before he called out in.

With a warning, you opened the curtain and reveal Jeongin looking directly into the mirror at himself, fixing the collar of the white button-down shirt.

Your brows raised a little at the sudden change of his aura, a nice duality between feeling like your naive next door neighbor to that unapproachable rich boy who grows on you once you get to know him.

Jeongin felt a moment of relief when he saw your smile through the mirror. He turned to you with his mouth open to speak but he only managed out a strangled noise from the back of his throat when you pulled him closer by the collar, an action he found somewhat attractive, and started to fix his shirt.

He tensed up even more when your hand slid down his chest, your palm pressing flat against the surface as your index finger tapped gently against it. It was the nonchalance of your action that seemed to flip a switch inside him that he didn't know he had. Something that gave him hitched breathes and red cheeks.

Jeongin had been this close to other people before, mostly with his close circle of friends, but those he often waves off as playful banter and nothing more. They had been friends for years and it was a normal thing for them to touch each other. But this was more than just annoying headlocks and embarrassing cheek kisses. This was making his heart race for an unknown reason.

"Jeongin? Hello?"

"Yes?" He snapped out of his thoughts and oh, you were still standing so close and his voice was coming off too high-pitched for his liking, "I–I think this is great. Not me, the outfit, of course."

"Great, you can wear this when you two hang out," you said with a chuckle. "Hopefully next weekend, we can arrange it during lunch on Wednesday. I am going to pretend I will be going too but call in the last minute that I am sick so you two can have some alone time. Oh, this is going to work!"

"Wait, that quick?" He asked, panic laced in his voice. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Jeongin, are you not?" You raised an eyebrow at him.

He lowered his head and you could sense from his silence that he was troubled. You softened a little. Jeongin wasn't playing around, it seemed, he was really just a boy who was confused about his own feelings.

"Sit down with me, Jeongin," you beckoned him over as you slid down the wall and sat with your legs stretched out, touching the other side easily. He complied silently, sitting down next to you also with his legs stretched out.

"How did you meet Hyebyeol? When was your 'ding' moment?" You asked, snapping your fingers to emphasize your words.

Jeongin had an idea of what you meant. He had been forced to watch enough cheesy movies with his mother to know that it was the brief moment when the main protagonist realizes that they are in love. The character has been in love for the past episodes but it was that moment that gave them the certainty that the other person was who they want to spend the rest of their life with.

He looked up at the ceiling. There was never such a moment with Hyebyeol, but he decided to give you an answer anyway.

"It wasn't long, it was about a few weeks ago during sports day, actually. Remember I was in almost all the races because my class made me attend them all," he groaned, recalling all the late practices with his friends. He could feel his legs go numb again at the icky feeling of sweat dripping down his jaw and soaking his shirt.

You breathed out a chuckle. Jeongin is a fast runner and everyone else hated that. The sounds of booing whenever his class wins another race was distant in your mind, mostly because you didn't pay much attention to the activities going on and mostly spent your time with music blasting through your earplugs as you stared pointlessly at the flying dust made visible by the sun.

"Anyway, I overworked and I fainted at the end of the relay race. When I woke up, my head was on her lap and she was fanning me with the activity booklet." He continued, "I think it was the sunlight or maybe because I was really dizzy at that time, she just appeared really gentle and pretty to me."

It was a shallow answer, Jeongin knew. It did make it sound like all he has for Hyebyeol was a small crush, there was a complete lack of seriousness in his feelings that you might feel disapproval of. The fact that Hyebyeol could have been literally anyone else. He was fairly sure that you caught onto that too, but still, you hummed in understanding.

"She is pretty like that, it makes you dizzy in the head," you muttered under your breath, a hint of envy you have never shown to the world leaked in your voice.

You were never the type to want attention. But there were times when Hyebyeol would dramatically read out her love letters to you on you guys' way home together (which had stopped happening for a while now) and those gushy, loving words just rile you up with emptiness.

You were never the type to want attention but you wouldn't hate it to feel loved once in a while.

Jeongin turned over to look at you. When it comes to the tone of envy and jealousy, he was an expert at detecting them due to his many years of spending time with his petty friends. He caught onto yours immediately, that usual blank expression on your face that honestly makes his heart drop every time he looks at you was present.

"Hey... I think you are–"

"You have other friends, right?" You cut him off, jutting out your bottom lip as you looked up at his baffled expression. "Oh shit, sorry, did you want to tell me something?"

Jeongin cleared his throat at the close proximity and he turned to the other side, staring out the gap between the wall and the room curtain. "Yeah, but it's fine. I do have a group of close friends. We have been close friends since middle school but not all of us study in our school."

You smirked, shaking your head in defeat. "That's so nice, I wish I had friends like that too. Anyway, who would you consider your best friend out of everyone in the group?"

Jeongin looked up at the ceiling, humming in deep thoughts. It never occurred to him to ever choose one within the eight of them, he always thought they all held an equal place in his heart. But if he had to pick one that sticks out?

"I have a picture, do you want to see?" He asked as he reached over to grab his bag where he pulled out his phone. His smile was wide and playful as you keyed in something, moving away from your nosy gaze. "Here, this is my best friend."

When you glanced at the screen, it took you a moment to process the fact that you were looking at your own face. You could hear his amused giggle after you let out a short laugh of bewilderment. You pointed your index finger at yourself, "Me?"

"Yeah, you," he nodded excitedly.

"Are you sure?" You groaned out, your lips pursed into a grim line.

Jeongin's brows furrowed, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean do you really want to be best friends with someone like me," you replied.

Jeongin didn't like the fact that there was not a hint of questioning tone in your voice even though you worded it as one. "Why would I not, (Name)? You're smart. How do you manage to rank top of the grade every time, I literally don't get it. What study method do you use?"

You laughed, "I don't really study, I just do I guess?"

"No!" He gasped out, turning to you as he lightly punched your arm, genuinely shocked at his new discovery. "You don't study? Every teacher who teaches our grade are always like 'be more like (Name), she studies hard' but now you're telling me you don't?"

You shook your head with an awkward laugh. Maybe you were the center of attention, just not the good kind. "My memories are exceptionally well and you know, high school is all about remembering information and puking them out on the test later. I do a lot of reading, there isn't anything special about it."

"You need to help me, there is a huge history test on Thursday in my class, I think it is a cumulative chapter test, and I mean it when I say I slept through the whole semester," Jeongin said with giggles in between, remembering all the times the teacher slammed her hand on his desk to wake him up and the whole class was full of snickers and playful jokes that meant no harm (and none was taken).

"I am not a miracle worker, Jeongin. You can't cram everything within four days," you rolled your eyes, "Well, I can but I am different."

"You are special," he shook his shoulder with a teasing smile, nudging your side.

You laughed, your shoulder slumping in relaxation. That was when you finally realized you had been keeping an eye on how you appeared to be like in his eyes the entire time, it was only now that you finally let that trouble go since Jeongin didn't seem to dislike you in any way. In fact, he was able to act jokingly around you, and that was the first step for this fake relationship to hopefully blossom into something real.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," you hummed comfortably as you bumped your forehead against his shoulder.

"For what?" Jeongin laughed, looking over at you.

You only shrugged, "You don't have to know. Anyway, are you in for Wednesday lunch or do I have to haul your ass over to our table?"

Jeongin absent-mindedly nodded, "See you in the cafeteria."

"Great, if you both don't get out of there now you will be seeing your parents in the security office," a knock came through the wall as a voice warned.

You clamped a hand to your mouth to stop yourself from laughing as you stood up. "I'll wait just outside," you said before leaving, ignoring the line of people waiting outside.

* * *

You left the classroom quickly after receiving a message from Jeongin, who arrived at school later than you had expected, on the day you told him you were going to try something new with his hair as an experiment to how Hyebyeol would react too.

You made your way to the bottom floor of the school, where the school library was, and when you turned the corner, you immediately saw Jeongin sitting on one of the school supply boxes located in the empty space just below the stairs.

When he heard quickened footsteps, he snapped his head up and smile up at you as you approached him with a dissatisfied expression. You clicked your tongue, pinching his soft cheeks in between your fingers and tugging at them lightly. "You're so late, I only have about five minutes to work on your hair."

"I'm sorry, but it was hard for creep into mom and dad's room without them waking up," Jeongin apologized sheepishly as he pulled out the comb and hair spray he got from home, stolen from his parents' bathroom. "What are you planning to do?"

"Bangs make you look adorable and innocent, which I suppose is not a bad thing, but I reckon Hyebyeol likes the more mature type so I am giving your forehead a breath of fresh hair," you said, gently running your hand through his soft black locks as you thought about where to start. "Don't worry, I tested this out with my dad, it works. My mom can vouch."

Jeongin smiled at the mention of your parents whom he had seen for two consecutive days. You two continued to hang out on weekdays, surprisingly, and you had the chance to meet his best friend whose name you came to know is Kim Seungmin.

You two got to know each other a lot more since your relationship started from nothing. There were the little things like how Jeongin prefers fruit juice over tea and coffee, and he orders his drinks seventy-five percent sweet. There were also bigger, more important things like him finding out that your mother was currently living in the hospital due to serious brain cancer and your father had been working extra hours to hopefully earn enough to pay the medical bills.

He was glad you told him about it. It showed that you were slowly warming up to him just as he was slowly opening up to you.

"How is she? Is she doing well?" He asked as he gently placed his hands on your waist to steady himself as he felt the drowsiness that he fought off on his way to school coming back to his eyes. The way your fingers were running through his hair did nothing to help with his sleepiness.

"She's been better before," you replied with a bitter laugh that you wouldn't have let out if you were in the hospital room where your parents were around.

Despite the poor financial and health condition your family was going through, your parents managed to make light of the situation and live as if nothing was wrong, and to Jeongin that was really motivational. However, you, on the other hand, were never that enthusiastic about the possibility of losing your mother.

Jeongin understood your concerns regarding your mother's health but at the same time feeling the need to comply with what they wanted, which in this case was to pretend nothing bad was happening, so he didn't respond with anything further than a slight nod.

You pulled away to look at him then, your brows furrowed seriously as you mumbled something that was unintelligible to Jeongin despite the close distance between you two.

"What do you think, (Name)?" He asked suddenly. "Which hairstyle suits me better?"

"You?" You chuckled thoughtfully, "I think you can pull off any, to be honest."

"Then which one do you like best?" "I like it better when it's a little curly and it kind of covers your eyes but I can still see the little gleams of stars in them," you complimented with a soft voice, "Like when we hung out on Sunday. That was a good look on you."

"Gleams of stars?" He laughed jokingly.

You nodded, "Mmhmm! See, this is the thing about you, Jeongin. You don't know you're attractive at all. I don't know how because the mirror is right around the corner but I guess it's good that it eliminates the chances of you acting obnoxious about it."

Jeongin nodded, a friend of his instantly coming into mind. He pouted a little. They had suggested meeting up with you several times since they were curious to who you were (oh yes, Jeongin does slip you into the conversation once or twice), but there was this underlying feeling that was irking Jeongin that made him not want to introduce you to the rest of his also very good-looking friends or possibly even more attractive than he was, in terms of both appearances and personality.

It was a type of uncertainty, a moment of jealousy that you wouldn't have thought was for you even if he had expressed it blatantly that he didn't like the thought of you enjoying his other friends' presence too much, or possibly more than you enjoyed his.

You would have thought it was for Hyebyeol.

Jeongin sucked in a quick breath, hating this slimy feeling in his chest. Turning to you, his pout deepened the slightest, and you seemed to have taken that expression as doubt. You cooed in response, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Aww, don't worry. We will make sure Hyebyeol likes you, okay? We can do this!"

There was a bitter feeling in your heart as soon as your voice dropped but you ignored it.

"Really?" He slurred out, pouting.

"Of course, how can she not?"

Jeongin licked his lip as he contemplated whatever you meant by that. Searching for any dropped hints within your words, if there was any to begin with. He later looked up at you, unknowingly leaning his chin against your tummy as his eyes shone with a kind of admiration that you didn't know was reserved for you.

"Do you?" He asked quietly, his voice coming out as a whisper.

You radar was going nuts once you met eyes with him, and as much as your mind was telling you to peel your gaze away, you couldn't. No one has ever looked at you like that before, something akin to adoration that you have never felt, and you wanted to bask in this moment for as much as you could before it goes away completely. How Jeongin was able to make you feel this way was beyond your control and imagination.

"Do I what?" You blurted out, laughing nervously as you paid attention to ruffling his hair, completely messing up what you had done before attempting to fix it up again.

"Do you like me?"

The bell rang and you breathed out a sigh of relief as you let your hands fall to your side. You stepped away from him, the weight of his hands on your wasit and his chin on your tummy left a somewhat hollow feeling in your chest. This was a dilemma. Do you act friendly and risk convincing yourself that you do like him by admitting you do or do you completely isolate your true feelings in order to prevent a potential heartbreak?

You chuckled with a brief reply, "It doesn't matter what I feel."

Jeongin's shoulder slumped and his heart ached a bit.

How could it not?

It mattered the most to him at that moment.

* * *

Jeongin didn't plan to have everyone tag along on this study session. He had expected to be just the two of you, maybe Seungmin if he really needed help. But of course, the universe changed his dream lane however much it wanted and crammed all his friends of the same grade in his home.

Books of all subjects were scattered across the living room desk, with empty mugs and empty snack wrapping papers threatening to fall off the edge of the wooden table. You had thought it would be a simple history review for Jeongin's test he had mentioned, but it turned into a chemistry review for Felix, math practice for Hyunjin and Seungmin, and the most hopeless one of them all—Han Jisung with his biology test.

Jisung had asked you so many questions in the span of two minutes that the others decided that they would turn to the internet and each other for help instead of asking you questions, all for you to pay your utmost attention to him.

"How do you–" You paused in mid-sentence after checking the practice test Jisung's teacher gave out. When you heard his panicked yell, you quieted down instead. "How bad do you have to be to get such a low score, this is basically a vocabulary test."

You breathed a heavy sigh as you placed the paper on top of the table before pulling on your chair so you could sit closer to Jisung, who has his cheeks stuffed with sweet crackers. You glanced at him once, watching him munch away as he blinked at you innocently, and you chuckled in defeat.

"Okay, listen up, Jisung-ah," you cooed, pointing at his mock test paper.

Jeongin looked up from his worksheet, his expression was unreadable but the creases on his forehead pretty much conveyed his thoughts. His grip on the blue pen unknowingly tightened the more you praised Jisung for getting a concept right for the first time. He dared not to look up, seeing you watch Jisung struggle with those hopeful eyes of yours would only make his chest threaten to burst even more.

"Damn, I don't want to do this anymore," Hyunjin threw his pen across the desk before he leaned against the back of the chair with a tired groan. "When are we ever going to use these?"

"Uh, I don't know, Hyunjin, during the math test perhaps?" Seungmin rolled his eyes as he retorted, catching the pen and throwing it back to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin clicked his tongue in annoyance, a deadpan expression on his face. "I know, but I mean in real life! I don't plan to be a mathematician! I want to be a dancer!"

You stepped in casually then as Jisung was redoing a long question from his test. "Dancing requires counting too, doesn't it?"

Hyunjin turned to you. He pressed his index finger to his lips and shook his head, "Shh, (Name), you don't get to complain when you're not failing."

"Okay, whatever floats your boat, pretty boy," you laughed, holding your hands up in mock defeat.

Felix laughed then, looking up from the many formulas. "Don't tell him that, you are going to send his ego out to space and it will never come back down."

"You didn't hear it from me but honestly, you get the right to be cocky about your looks, Hyunjin," you shrugged, "Just don't go too far, girls hate it."

"Do you?"

Jeongin finally looked up upon hearing the familiar question. He asked you this in the morning and part of him expected you to give Hyunjin the same reaction. But you didn't, you laughed and you shrugged and you joked around with his friends while he sat at his chair in complete silence. It bothered him to think that you don't need his presence to be as happy as you are.

"Jeongin?"

He looked over to you and instantly, he relaxed. Your concerned eyes watched him while you repeated your question, "Jeongin are you okay? You look really out of it, do you need help?"

It took him too long to answer. Seungmin beat him to saying something first, "He is fine. He is probably thinking about the date with Hyebyeol this week. Did you guys know he scored one, with me and (Name)'s help, of course."

Felix yelled, "This is why your hair looks like this today!"

"Oh my god, I can't believe Jeongin is the first one to score a girl within all of us!" Hyunjin threw his hands up in the air, but his cheery tone indicated that he was happy about his friend was getting his feelings reciprocated.

You laughed awkwardly, trying to hide the bitterness laced at the tip of your tongue. The entire lunchtime you had kept your focus on Seungmin so you wouldn't have to listen in on the conversation between Jeongin and Hyebyeol and witness their growth happen right before your eyes.

Not once did you bring the topic up again after school ended and you three made your way to Jeongin's house, yet somehow she managed to resurface. As the boys discussed, in a sappy manner, of all the cute couple ideas they have in store for the two of them, you were busy trying to tune out their conversation but to no avail.

You ears seemed to keep picking up signs on how Jeongin would never, never ever, fall in love with someone as mediocre as you.

"Jisung," you said when you glanced at Jisung's unfinished answer on the question you asked him to work on again, "Jisung can you finish this so we can move on?"

He did not hear you over the munching of chocolate biscuits and his giggles, too immersed in throwing his teasing towards the youngest boy in the room. Therefore, when you pinched his cheek to gain his attention, he was a bit shocked.

"I'm sorry, but you have at least twenty more questions to go, Jisung. Unless you plan to stay with me overnight, I suggest you finish this as quick as possible so I can help you with it," you explained your action calmly, pulling away after soothing the spot on his cheek briefly, feeling apologetic about taking your intolerance out on him.

There it was again. The hopelessness, the feeling of utter defeat. The green monster lurking in his chest had been walking over his heart during lunch when Jeongin was unsure what you were laughing about with Seungmin when you two were seated right next to him, and it just started to stomp around due to the abrupt care you've shown for Jisung.

It was such a casual thing and he hated that it was making him feel such strong emotions.

"Uh, actually, mom and dad say they are coming back so I think you guys should leave now," he stood up suddenly, looking at his phone as if his parents had sent him a message.

Jisung frowned, "What? No way, I really need help with this–ah! Let's exchange numbers so I can text you about it."

"Or, an even better idea hyung," Jeongin reached out, his hand slamming just a bit too hard on the table and startling all of you. The smile on his face was nonetheless, innocent. "I can help you with biology, or Minho-hyung can help you, he's good at it."

You furrowed your brows at his sudden change of tone. As his friends started to pack their belongings, Jeongin's past actions long gone from their mind as they started to talk about getting together to watch a movie over the weekend, you stood up as well.

You waited for everyone to leave the door and there was only the two of you in the living room before you reached for your pocket where you had placed your phone.

"I don't know what is going on with you, Jeongin, but you need to unwind a little," you said as you scrolled through your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked, peeking at your phone as soon as you set it down on the table, turning up the volume so the song could be heard clearly.

You smiled as the song played, tapping your feet against the floor rhythmically. "I have never done this with anyone else before so don't laugh at me, okay?" You said as you moved over to his side, "When I get stressed, I dance. I found it online that dancing makes you happy, so I tried it and guess what, it actually worked!"

Jeongin was still trying to process what was going on as you started to hum along with the tune of the catchy song and move your hips to the beat.

"Come on, dance with me! Just do whatever, there are no rules here!' You encouraged, approaching him and grabbing a hold of his hand as you sang along.

A smile slowly spread across his face. He let you lead him. He let you bring him around the table, around the living room because he was too occupied with basking in the sight of you enjoying yourself to think of anything else.

His heart warmed at your laugh as you twirl yourself around, his hand going up before landing at the side of your waist. You two stood at a distance but somehow this moment felt more intimate than ever. It was just the two of you, dancing and singing together, letting yourselves loose comfortably in a safe place.

"Are you feeling better?" You asked, wide-eyed with anticipation.

Jeongin nodded eagerly, "Yeah."

And you smiled. A genuine, bright smile that he had never seen before and wanted to see all the time for the rest of his life. Jeongin's jaw dropped slightly as a content sigh escaped his lips.

You looked so pretty, so stunning, so beautiful. It was making him dizzy in the head.

Jeongin found out now. He had always known, he just couldn't be sure, but he knew now. Why he was feeling pangs in his heart whenever you were near and whenever you were not around. Why he got himself clenching his jaw and gripping his pen when you were chatting away with other boys. Why he couldn't feel any excitement in his heart when his friends were just rambling on and on about his future relationship with Hyebyeol, the girl he thought he loved. It was you. The one he ended up falling for wasn't Hyebyeol.

It was you. He wouldn't say that he loves you yet, but he was sure his heart was set on yours.

This was his _ding_ moment.

* * *

Hanging out with Hyebyeol was awkward for Jeongin, he thought maybe it was the fact that she might have thought this was going somewhere for the two of them. If it was only a friendly date, it would have been fine, but something about the way she acts was telling him otherwise.

Jeongin wasn't sure why he continued with it anyway when he knew he held no special interest to the girl sitting in front of him. He was mostly doing it for you since you were so excited about setting him up with someone else, so exaggeratedly eager that he was annoyed by it.

"I was a little disappointed by what happened, but I guess I should really get over it," Hyebyeol said before taking a sip of her cold drink.

The two were walking around the street after eating lunch, unsure of what the next step was. It took about three stores and five food stands for Hyebyeol to finish her story about what happened in the student council meeting just this week and since Jeongin didn't really have anything in common regarding that topic, he only nodded with a smile.

Hyebyeol hummed at his response, a faint smile playing at her lips. "I can't tell if I am boring you to death or if you are just a great listener, Jeongin," she sighed, "How about you tell me something about yourself?"

"Oh no, I like listening to people talk," he protested, "You should tell me more."

"No, I don't want to sound annoying. Just tell me something, anything," Hyebyeol waved her hand dismissively.

Jeongin fumbled with the words in his head, trying to find something remotely interesting about himself that he actually felt willing enough to disclose to someone he barely talked to. He opened his mouth, letting out a thoughtful noise just as his phone rang.

Apologizing quietly, he pulled it out of his pocket and his brows furrowed the slightest when he saw your name on the screen. Accepting it quickly, he brought it to his ear, eager to hear your voice. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You kept silent as you stood before the hospital bed, your expression blank as a white canvas as you stared at your mother's sleeping form after the heart monitor had stopped. You weren't sure why Jeongin was the first person you called, but your heart was calling for him so you did so without thinking twice.

"(Name)?"

You inhaled deeply, "Jeongin... my mom... she..."

Jeongin's heart dropped. He could tell by the sound of your dull voice and how you had referred to your mother. He pursed his lips into a grim line, "I'm coming over, okay? You hang in there, I'm coming to get you."

"What's wrong?" Hyebyeol asked when Jeongin hung up, her eyes wide.

Jeongin licked his lower lip. He knew that you were never as close to Hyebyeol as everyone thought you were and he wasn't sure if it was his place to tell her about your mother's condition. He scratched the back of his neck, "Um, something came up, I should go."

"I heard you say (Name), what's happened to them?" She pressed on, taking a step closer and causing Jeongin to stumble back.

"I think it would be best if you ask them yourself, but right now, I really need to go," he pressed his hands together and lowered his head apologetically, "I'm sorry, thank you for today, though. I had fun!"

When he finally got onto the bus, there was a sense of guilt blossoming in his chest that he had left Hyebyeol along in the streets, but he was able to brush it off quickly when the concern over your emotional well-being came flooding into his head. He tapped his feet as he glanced out the window, only wanting the bus to go faster.

It took him only minutes to arrive, thanks to the fact that the hospital was not located too far away and the traffic was feeling extra generous. When he arrived at your floor, he quickly rushed to the room you had once brought him to, but before he could even approach the room, he saw nurses pushing your mother down the hall, bringing her to the morgue.

Jeongin paused at the sight, his breath hitching in his throat as the rolling bed brushed past his arm. His eyes traveled from the back of the nurse to the front, where he finally saw your figure standing by the door, staring into space.

"Hey..."

You perked up at the sound and relaxed when you saw Jeongin. He examined your face for any trace of discomfort but much to his surprise, he saw nothing. Your eyes felt empty, but they appeared normal. There were no tear stains down your cheek, your lips weren't arched downwards into a frown. You were not in the state he expected you would be.

"I was heading out to get grocery, I was going to make porridge for mom but then dad called me and I rushed here," you said, tugging at the end of your sleeve as your eyes shakily darted everywhere else but at Jeongin.

"Where is your dad?"

"He went to the restroom after, um," you turned your head to the side when your name was called by a familiar voice. Jeongin watched as your father, who looked like an absolute wreck compared to you, approach. He politely moved away so you could talk to your father.

"Dad..."

"It's okay, (Name), I'm just... I'm just going to talk to the doctor and sign the paperwork, you wait here for me, okay?" He cut you off quickly before turning around and walking away.

Your widened eyes followed your father's back. You had never seen him look this messy before. Sad eyes and broken smile was not a familiar expression to grace your parents' faces, you were not used to it, it gave you anxiety and you hated it. When you turned around, your eyes briefly moving past the room number, the number you had carved in your memory, another pang hit your chest.

The room is empty now.

Your eyes met Jeongin's for the first time and something clicked in your head. You didn't have to put on a strong face. Your safe place was here. It was just him and no one else. And you finally had to courage to break down. Jeongin took notice of when your hands started to tremble and your eyes started to spark with tears. He reached forward as you did so too in the form of stumbles and he caught you before you could fall to the floor in hopelessness.

He pulled you along with him to sit on the chairs, his expression hardened as your pent up cries echoed through the hallway, rendering the atmosphere darker than ever. He said nothing and simply let you stain his shirt with tears as his hand pressed consolingly on your head.

He thought that was what you needed the most now.

* * *

You woke up tiredly, feeling the puffiness of your eyes and the dryness of your mouth. Immediately, you turned to your nightstand where a half glass of water was located and drank it down, not giving any care on how long it had been there for.

Laying back down, you turned to the other side and let out a small gasp when you found Jeongin sleeping just next to you. Your eyes softened as you examined him carefully, watching the way his chest rise and fall to the beat of his breathing as memories of yesterday came back to you. Everything was faint for now, which was fortunate, but you were sure Jeongin had been there.

Somehow you knew he had sat with you until you got too tired and fell asleep, and he had stayed with you ever since.

"Thank you so much, Jeongin," you whispered as you gently pulled the cover over to him, bringing it up to his shoulder.

Alert at the slightest movement, he opened his eyes. It took him a moment to adjust even though the room was dim and the only lights were through the gaps of your curtain. He looked over to you first and he breathed out, "Good morning... are you feeling better?"

You shook your head honestly, hiding your chin under the cover. You didn't want to think about that this early in the morning when you knew that it would be the only topic lurking in your head and the only thing being discussed with your father for the day. You wanted the quiet morning to be when you could drown in the moment of peaceful denial.

"I'm sorry for calling you, did I ruin the date?" You asked.

Jeongin shook his head slowly, his mind still hazy. "No, you didn't. It's okay." He mumbled as he mindlessly draped his arm over your figure, not sure if he was going to pull you closer or just to scoot over. He went with the first one, pushing his hand against your back. "You're more important."

You had expected your cheeks to heat up at the distance but somehow this felt familiar. This warmth of limbs tangled together, the sound of his lazy groan as he shifted ever so slightly but his arm remained around your waist protectively, the beating of your heart speeding down to normal rather than pounding erratically—it all seemed to fit into place as if this closeness was supposed to happen, as if it was just another normal Sunday morning with someone you've been with for as long as you could remember.

It filled you up with happiness so easily and so strongly that you felt afraid of the arrival of the moment when this morning comes to an end.

This felt like love.

"Jeongin?" You called out softly and he hummed without opening his eyes, a smile gracing his perfect lips.

"Nothing... I'm just... sleepy," you muttered under your breath before moving closer, pressing your cheek against his shoulder.

He nudged your head with his jaw, acknowledging the fact that you had cuddled up to him and letting you stay there.

This was your _ding_ moment, you strongly believed.

* * *

A few weeks had passed. You were recovering slowly with Jeongin's help, and that was the only thing you focused on. There was no denying that the tension between you two got different and at some point, Jeongin would do or say something that gives you delusional thoughts that he might just actually like you instead.

You accused yourself of being dumb whenever that thought popped up.

Even so, you had not forgotten about your own policy. Fine, so you fell in love with him, that's fine, just don't do anything about it. You had pushed those thoughts to the very back of your heart, ignoring them in hopes they could turn to dust eventually before you needed to leave.

It did not work out too well for you. The final day had arrived sooner than you had anticipated and you decided that the only way for you to get over Jeongin once and for all was to make sure he becomes unavailable, so here you were, standing in the hallway with him alone after everyone had left.

"I thought it took you long enough and I am pretty sure she likes you as well, Jeongin," you said, ignoring the way his brows arched in confusion. "I told her to wait in the music room so you can finally confess!"

Jeongin stayed silent for a moment, his gaze hardened and his jaw clenched. Pain flashed before his eyes for a moment as he spoke, "Are you serious?"

You nodded, "Yeah."

"You don't mind, at all, that we get together?"

The sun hit his face, shinning on his beautiful eyes and delicate skin. It was teasing you, it was pushing the love back to the front and you clenched your fist to keep yourself at bay.

"No," you lied with a smile. When he didn't budge, you gave him an encouraging pat, "Come on now, don't do this, you are making her wait."

Jeongin sighed in defeat as he grabbed a hold of your hand, "Yet it somehow didn't occur to you that you're making _me_ wait."

You breathed out shakily, terrified at the connotation of his words and the way his eyes stared longingly at your lips. You didn't need this right now, not when you were about to leave this place. "What are you talking about, Jeongin?"

"I'm talking about this," he replied quickly before he kissed you.

Your eyes widened and as much as you wanted to continue, you pulled away, "Wait, no–We can't."

Jeongin stayed close to you, his voice hoarse, "Why? Do you not love me? Because I do, I really fucking do and the feeling is tearing me apart."

"No, I do, so much but I'm leaving to Busan, Jeongin," you blurted finally, running your thumb over his hand. "My aunt lives there and after mom died, she offered to help dad out, and they decided that we can move there."

God, saying it out loud made your heart wince. The thought of not being able to see Jeongin again broke you.

Jeongin blinked as he processed your words. "No... no, when–when are you going?"

"Tomorrow morning, today is my last day."

"And you never told me?" He pulled away, sadness and betrayal flooded his voice and his eyes. "You plan to just leave me here?"

"I–that was before I knew you liked me, Jeongin! I'm–" You pursed your lips before you exhaled, "I'm sorry. I was a coward, I didn't want to say goodbye again. Please don't be mad at me."

He softened, even though the news was making his chest ache more than ever. You had your reasons, he didn't want to make you feel as if you were at fault in this situation. Things had been hard for you and the last thing he wanted was to add more pressure.

Jeongin stepped up, taking your hands in his. He gulped, nervous, "Do you have to leave?"

You nodded hesitantly, "Yeah, my dad needs me, it will be best that I go with him."

"Okay..." He muttered after exhaling deeply, acceptance suddenly overcoming him. "But don't think this means I'm letting you go, (Name). You might not know, but I am a very patient guy."

You smiled, moving closer and nudging your nose against his before pressing your lips against his tightly again. This time, you let yourself free, drowning in the moment, enjoying the way you two fit so perfectly together and the closeness you were sure you wouldn't get with anyone else.

And this was goodbye.

* * *

A year passed. Jeongin had already graduated and he was about to start his first year in university with his friends. He wasn't sure if he was glad that they got to spend more time with each other or be annoyed that he had to deal with their stupidity every day, but having them by his side eased his longing for you immensely.

"God, can you get any more annoying?" Seungmin rolled his eyes at Changbin, who kept on flipping back and forth with what he wanted to get for his drinks.

Jeongin laughed at Changbin's childish reaction as Jisung played with his hand, as he does. It took five minutes for their order to arrive and they left for the parking lot, preparing to enjoy the very last of their summer vacation.

As they left the elevator and entered the dimly lit area, Jeongin's eyes traveled across the faces of his friend then, his brows furrowing as a hint of paranoia hit him. He felt like he was being watched and it sent him shivers.

When he faced forward again, standing over by Chan's car, his eyes landed on a familiar face and they widened. You chuckled playfully to yourself upon seeing his reaction and you waved when he regained his composure.

You looked different. You grew and your hair changed, but you managed to keep your style. Jeongin pulled away from Jisung who was still clinging onto him, causing him to whine, but Jeongin couldn't care less. Taking big steps, he hurried over to you just as you opened your arms welcomingly for him to walk right into your embrace.

He had thought about this in his head more times than he would like to admit. What he would do when you return back to him. At one point he got scared that things would grow awkward between you two, or that you would have found someone more suitable for you, but it seemed like all his fears were unnecessary.

"When did you come back?" He asked, his voice muffled as he burried his head at the croak of your neck. He sniffed, letting your faint perfume scent engulf him and replacing the dry smell of the parking lot. The real thing really could not compare to chatting online, could it? "I missed you so much."

"Yesterday night. Ask Seungmin about it, he knew already," you replied before looking up, sending Seungmin a small wave and a thankful smile for keeping your return a secret.

Jeongin tightened his grip on your frame, the only thing he was able to utter out was the fact that he had missed you so much. You giggled, running your hand through his soft hair in reminiscent, missing him even though he was right here with you.

"I'm attending a university here, dad actually let me come," you informed, "But he said I had to stay with you since I have no other close friends in Seoul and he trusts you for some weird reason."

Jeongin hummed as he planted a kiss on the nape of your neck, smiling at the fact that your father approved of him. "Not a problem." He said as he pulled away slightly. Looking at you through his long bangs with a wide smile, he whispered longingly, "I can still kiss you, right? Or do I have to pay for that first?"

You rolled your eyes as a hearty laugh left your lips. "Just kiss me, Jeongin."

He did, sealing your lips shut by pressing his against yours in a breathtaking kiss that spoke a thousand words. You smiled into it, your pounding heart slowing down to a steady heartbeat.

It felt the same, everything was the same. It was normal, loving, a daily routine; It all still feel like that morning, where everything fits into place, as love does.


End file.
